Today was day 2 at Project Open Hand. We got to officially sign up, well those of us who were in the system. Poor Adelia wasn’t in the system, apparently the office lost her paperwork. No worries, she still got to work! Four of us (Me, Alejandra, Amy, and Ahanna) delivered 14 pound pantry meals while the rest worked in the kitchen. It was a rainy day so more people volunteered for the kitchen (oh the irony). The delivery route was less hectic we didn’t get lost as much. I was both happy and proud as our navigation skills have definitely improved.
When we completed the morning task, we returned to the offices to eat lunch, only to find meager food available. It seemed that the other volunteers and workers cleaned the lunch offerings out! Oh well, I scraped together some macaroni and cheese along with veggies and salad. I also got two delicious white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. No complaints! Well, ok, maybe one, but the cookies made up for it.
After lunch the four of us who delivered food in the morning joined the others in the kitchen to pack and put together meals to be distributed in the coming days. First we packed the bags which were to be distributed. It made me realize how monotonous working in an assembly line can really be. We got backed up frequently and things had to be replaced. Every time something had to be replaced there was a halt and the whole line was on pause. The same thing happened when we were preparing the plates to be sealed. Eat step in the assembly line depended on the previous step and if one was off, the whole line slowed down. It was fun though and of course I turned it into a race! We did so well we got to leave early. I felt bad though because other groups were still doing work. I felt it would’ve been a good idea to stick around and maybe help clean up or something, but it seemed the majority of the group wanted to leave and since we technically got the OK to leave, I didn’t want to try and convince anyone otherwise. I did make sure to get an official OK, I didn’t want any ill feelings towards USF or any of the volunteers. I just wanted to make sure everything was done before leaving so that USF was reflected in a positive manner.
After we got off the clock, we went to Lennox mall. This proved to be an interesting “fun activity” as there were frequent disagreements. It’s hard for me to be an advisor when certain rules are not enforced 100%. I generally try to make sure I follow things I have set forth early on throughout the trip. When a rule has been established in the beginning of the trip, I try and hold true to that rule in order to gain respect from the rest of the group. I did not appreciate it when certain rules were suggested to be broken just because we weren’t in a situation that seemed to warrant the following of said rule. I feel that I often appear to be the bad guy by enforcing certain rules or holding certain opinions of the trip. I know people want to go and do their own thing, but the whole point of coming on an alternative service break with a group is to do things with the group. That is part of the experience, learning to work cohesively in a group in different situations from the work environment to the social realm. I just felt so cornered that I eventually just gave up and decided that everyone was going to do what they wanted so why should I even bother fighting it? I feel bad because at certain points I snapped and was short with some of the group members, but it can be so frustrating when you’re trying to be someone’s friend but at the same time, be a leader. It’s hard to juggle both roles.
When we got back from Lennox mall, we had our reflection. Prior to our reflection, I was packing my bag up and noticed my souvenirs from the World of Coke were missing. Now it wasn’t the fact that these items were missing, but the fact that no one really seemed to care when I tried to bring it to everyone’s attention. I asked twice if anyone had seen anything but after a very superficial search it seemed that the reflection was more important (which in retrospect, I suppose that was more important in regards to the purpose of the trip). This pushed me over the edge and I had to excuse myself to have some alone time and just cry. Sometimes when I get really frustrated I just need to cry. I don’t know why and I know it sounds childish, but having a cry alone on the bathroom floor or in a closet or under my bed does wonders. Afterwards I rejoined the group, slightly less bouncy, but feeling a little better nonetheless. I participated in the reflection as best I could, however I do know that I was still a bit short and not as explanatory as I am during normal reflections. After the reflection I requested another search and my items surfaced. I feel that patience really is necessary sometimes. While I may not have the perfect amount of patience, I do believe I am working towards that. By not screaming or taking my anger out on anyone and also by excusing myself to have my personal moment, I really do feel that I have grown (at least a little, maybe half an inch).
For dinner Chakara, Wilnie, and Kirri are cooking. It’s spaghetti night! I do enjoy these group dinners we have. I feel like they are a bonding experience because some of us don’t cook as often and so we get an experience cooking with others and branching out of our comfort zone.
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